|  |  | |  | | | We understand that tolerance to caffeine develops quickly and we spend millions of dollars each year on developing genetically-modified coffee blends guaranteed to make even the most depraved caffeine fiend sneeze with his eyes open. Bean Machine buys only the richest coffee beans from the poorest nations in the world. Poor people make great stimulants.
All our stores offer a wide range of fresh coffee by the bag. Only $20 per pound. We are firmly committed to fair trade and for every pound of coffee purchased, we ensure that no less than 7 cents is returned to the local farmer.
Buy 4 pounds of coffee today and we will throw in a free coffee enema and a Colossale Gunkuccino T-Shirt (sizes start in XL)
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