Brucie's Homepage

Men of America!!! Do you feel overwhelmed and undersexed? A failure with women? Are you stuck in a social rut? Paralyzed by doubt and fear? Is your life devoid of direction, meaning and excitement? The solution may be closer than you think. Take a look in the garage.

Remember - your car is who you are. Along with your abs and some weapons grade diamonds on the chain. Check out the guy next to you at the traffic light. Does he look happy? Does he look like he is on his way to wine, dine and romance a pair of 17-year-old Asian chicks? Unlikely.

If you want to roll VIP style with the big players, you need to step up to the plate and be recognized. And the best way to roll is in a car. Not a hybrid. It's a fight for visibility out there. I'm talking carbon emissions. I'm talking high grade bezels set in platinum on the chain. Survival of the slickest. Brucie's Executive Lifestyle Autos is your one-stop-shop for car customization, for REMASCULATION.

Nothing makes you feel more like a man than neon lights under your car and a 42 inch plasma screen in your trunk. Nothing screams that you've made it like a velour dash trim kit and bass that makes your tits bleed. Nothing makes you stand out from the crowd like a sports exhaust and racing stripes and a quality fake tan. Never accept mediocrity. Don't be ordinary.

Be different - GENETICALLY DIFFERENT.

Rims, grills, skirts, wings, spoilers, alloys, subwoofers, water beds, ejector seats, lava lamps and drilldos... Brucie's Executive Lifestyle Autos can give you it all and so much more. I can give you a LIFESTYLE.

It's no use having a tricked out car if you look like a loser. I play to win and I'm a big hitter. The question is, are you? Can you imagine waking up every morning and wanting to look at yourself for hours in the mirror? People try to label me as metrosexual and heteroflexible but I like to describe myself as a metromacho, a neo-narcissist: the ultimate blend of masculinity and desirability. The nineties were the age of the New Man. Now it's time for the Ultimate Man. A man with a blog, PDA, 20-inch rims, the 10-inch cock, the perfect body, big guns and the rock star lifestyle. You want it all, you deserve it all. I've got it all and more besides. And I can give it to you, for a price. Success is measured by looks, money, status and power. I tick all those boxes and I can show you how to get there. I can make you believe that you're better than you are. Like my cars, I'm well-tuned, fuel-injected, super-charged, streeted up, blinged-out and highly-polished. I'm VIP. Nobody brings as much to the table as me. I bring the table to the table. I set up a table and flip food into my hat, like at a hibachi. Don't be a bottom-feeder all your life. Experience what it's like to be at the very top of the food chain.

I can promise you - you will enjoy the view. 110% isn't good enough. I give 1010% every minute of every day because that's what it takes to be the ultimate male specimen. And I will expect the same from you. GENETICALLY DIFFERENT isn't a promise; it's a threat.

Don't let your life sputter in the slow lane. Time to shift through the gears! Trick out your car, tune up your life.

Are you ready for the new you? Come down to Brucie's Executive Lifestyle Autos today (look for the big portrait of me on the side).

Become a better human being, become GENETICALLY DIFFERENT.