(Varsity Heights)

Are there any other regular patrons of the Clam Palace out there? Anybody driving from the Varsity Heights area to East Bohan around 1 AM on Friday or Saturday night? Or driving back around 5am? I'll be honest with you. I've been in denial for too long. I'm in love with a stripper. Yes, I know what you're going to say. She's playing me like a grand piano. She's just telling a lonely middle-aged man what he wants to hear. Well, you haven't seen the way Anastasia looks back at me through her legs. I know what love feels like - there's no mistaking that warm feeling in the base of the colon when she does that hang-upside-down-from-the-pole thing. Every weekend, I promise myself I won't go to the Clam Palace and then half a bottle of whisky later, I'm lying in the back of a taxi with a pocketful of 20s from my mom's purse jerking off. It's costing me a fortune. I'm a couple of lap dances away from bankruptcy. Not to mention the tips! And the flowers. And the hepatitis. And the long distance calls she makes from my cell to her brother in Riga. I can't stand the thought of her with other men. I'll slit her throat. Please get in touch if you can help me out. I'll throw in gas money and I'm a great conversationalist. Deep, but accessible. If you haven't been to the Clam Palace, it's by far the best strip club in Liberty City. And I should know. In fact, it's probably the classiest joint I've ever been to. Period. The private rooms are clean, for the most part, and sides are definitely on the menu. Just stay away from Anastasia. Seriously, I'll slit your throat.



PostingID: 424556223