(America)

We formed the Centermost Party back in art college but, after years of meeting every day in Bean Machine coffee, we are still no closer to a cohesive manifesto. Free wifi, jittery sexless activists and procrastination seem to go hand in hand. We are really struggling to find a cause; something that will bind us as a group and propel us into the national spotlight. Should we raise the school-leaving age or lower the age of consent? Should we bring back smoking in public places or ban drinking everywhere except gentlemen's clubs? Should it be illegal to curse? This politics thing is much more difficult than we thought and that latest batch of white widow certainly isn't helping matters. We need to find a way to organize nationally but at the moment we can't even agree on who picks up the tab for the whipped cream sticky toffee gunkaccinos. Give us a policy we can believe in! Ideas for scapegoats would also be much appreciated. We're not going to get anywhere without a fall guy and it seems so boring to target the immigrants yet again.



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