(Hatton Gardens)

Paranoid control freak reluctantly seeks roommate for immaculate apartment in Hatton Gardens. No access to kitchen or living room. Use of the shower between the hours of 2-3pm. Don't bring guests. Don't order takeout. Don't move anything. Don't masturbate. Don't play music. Don't speak to me. The windowless room contains a single bed, wardrobe, webcam and a portrait of my mother. Everything must be kept spotless at ALL TIMES. It's tiny so this should not be a problem. I will be poking around in there whenever you are out so don't think you're getting any leeway. You will be given your own code for the security system so that I can track your comings and goings. Occasionally you will wake up to find me standing over you. If you are late with the rent, I will incinerate every last one of your belongings. That's all I can think of for now. Let me know if you are interested and I will set up a time for my mom to show you round. I don't want to even see you. The thought of your germs makes me weak.



PostingID: 962021555