(Middle Park West)

It happens to all great bloggers at some point in their lives. The fountain of creativity dries up. Six days after I started it, my blog has lain idle, frozen in time, left to drift the online seas like a ship without a captain. SHIT!!!!! You see what I mean! Even my metaphors aren't working and nobody does metaphor like me. I can't disappoint my fans. It crushes me to think of them sitting there forlornly clicking the refresh button, desperate for some kind of update. I don't know what's wrong with me. I've got an amusing incident from the grocery store and a great rant about microwaves that I just can't articulate. I'm like a summer flower that... oh, fuck it, it's just not happening!! I have come to the conclusion that the only solution is to find a muse. BLOGS ARE REALLY IMPORTANT and I need to tell you about every moment I have! If you're an attractive female with some free time over the next couple of weeks, please send me an email. Your main task as a muse will be to big me up and marvel at my genius. $50 per day.

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