(Westminster)

I think that I lost my cell phone on the subway from Suffolk to Westminster at around 8:30 last night. I cannot stress enough how important it is that this is returned to me or destroyed as soon as possible. The model is a Panoramic and there are about 20 pictures featuring an elderly gentlemen, a young Malaysian boy and a series of kitchen utensils. You must understand that a man in my position cannot be seen to be associated with sensitive content of this nature. I promised my wife that I had got all this out of my system and, if she sees what I was doing with her spatula, I am a dead man. I am prepared to offer a reward of $2,000, even though it is all quite explainable and innocent. If I see any of that stuff online, I'll sue you so hard your grandkids will owe me money.



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