(Willis)

This is extremely embarrassing. I have my member stuck in a ketchup bottle. There was this great show on Weazel this afternoon. That guy Jeremy, man, I got horny, I grabbed the nearest thing. I'm not proud of myself right now, let me tell you. It's a jumbo-size bottle, by the way. I've tried everything but it keeps getting worse. It looks like a crime scene down there. I thought that mayonnaise might help to grease the wheels but I just ended up with more swelling and some rancid thousand island. I'm too ashamed to call my friends and I'm certainly not going to the hospital. I've never felt pain like this. Is anybody in or near Willis? Can you help me out? My wife gets home in less than an hour!



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