(Tudor)

What did my dad tell me about always checking the fine print?!! When I got the job offer from Schlongberg & Sachs, all I saw was the 9 and five zeros. It's amazing how far a fake grad school certificate can get you! Now they want me to take a drug test on Monday!! I can't believe it. I thought all investment bankers did was bang coke up their noses. I need some clean urine ASAP - after the month I've had, I've got as much chance of passing as the Fist tour bus. Oh yeah, and it should be from a child. Pure as the driven snow... I'm not taking any chances. Name your price.



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