(Tudor)

I've got to get rid of this bed. Don't get me wrong - it's a great piece of furniture: sturdy frame, memory foam mattress, mahogany headboard. I was so excited when I bought it. I couldn't wait to put it through its paces with the first drunken college chick I could find. Then it happened. My mojo was gone. I haven't had any action for over 6 months! Not a sniff. My game has completely fallen apart. I've crashed and burned more times than Samantha Muldoon's career. Even fat chicks have been passing me up! Why did I throw my smelly old futon into the river?!! It can't be a coincidence. That bed is jinxed.

Hopefully you'll have better luck than me.



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