(Northwood)

Skydiving shouldn't cost you a fortune. You can dress it up in bells and whistles but freefall is freefall. Our motto is: no frills, just thrills. We don't bump up our prices with unnecessary equipment like parachute pants and helmets. A helmet's not going to help you when you hit the ground at 200mph! And you should own your own parachute pants anyway from the 80's. What the hell did you think they were for? Snorting coke and listening to shitty electronica? And what's the obsession with training these days? Do we really need instructions on the back of a shampoo bottle? Everything is a ploy to con you out of your well-earned dollars. Skydiving is supposed to be an extreme sport! Do you want us to wipe your ass as well??!! All you have to do is pull one rip-cord - it's like turning on the bathroom light. If you haven't got the balls to do it like a man, go play badminton. Nobody has ever pussied out of one of our jumps. After half an hour in our rickety old propeller plane, you'll be fighting to leap out of there with a WW2 army chute strapped to your back. If you want skydiving without the skyhigh prices, contact us today!



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