(Chinatown)

Were you beaten with the ugly hammer at birth? Does the sight of you naked make people heave? Being ugly is so much worse than being fat - it's out of your control. God hates you but we don't. Your only option is to spend thousands of dollars to go under the knife and turn yourself into a freak. Unfortunately, breast enlargement is all that plastic surgery is good for. Society dictates that unless they are rich or famous, ugly people must mate within their own kind or, occasionally, with a paralytic person from outside the species. It's a bleak picture but there is a glimmer of hope. Hypnosis! Think of how great it is to reprogram your mind! It's brainwashing! Look at how happy viewers of Weazel News are. I am an experienced hypnotist and ventriloquist with three years experience on the cabaret circuit. I have an extremely high success rate and most of my clients need just one session (which is why it is so expensive). I can brainwash even the most hideous brown-bagger into feeling fuckable.

You've already developed a great personality to over-compensate for your aesthetic failings. Take the next step. Think yourself hot!!! Email me for prices and appointments.



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