We at Eugenics Incorporated are doing far more than simply pimping out your progeny with musical ability, sporting prowess, a third nipple or testicle. We are changing the human species. After years of stupid people breeding like rabbits, our society is in decline. What chance do you have of producing the next Isaac Newton when the youth of today is mired in a cultural wasteland of self-medication and dumbed-down entertainment like the Shitty Singer Competition on CNT? Humanity is losing its edge. We must take action before it's too late. Time to clear out the dead wood.

As Eugenics spreads, Dr. Von Singer believes that humans will eventually split into two separate breeds. Genetic apartheid is coming! Scientists have proven that we are only about 5,000 genes away from chimpanzees. Do you want your child to be a chimp? Just look at how much bigger vegetables are, how much fatter battery-farmed chickens are, how much stronger weed is these days! If bioengineering can improve plants and animals to this extent, imagine what it can do for mankind? Don't condemn your baby to life as a genetic underdog. Jump on the Eugenics bandwagon now, before we hike up our prices even further.