There is nothing more exciting than watching the human drama of sporting competition - of celebrating the heroic battle of men at their physical peak slug it out. If 162 games aren't enough for you - fulfill your fantasies by controlling the men you idolize. Enjoy the thrill of major league action while sitting at home in your underwear! Obsess over the performance of overweight, drugged-up millionaires! Kill hours of time at the office! Mother-daughter threesomes and Asian school girls have their place, of course, but what most men really fantasize about is being in the locker room with their own baseball franchise! Fantasy baseball has become a national pastime - as American as hotdogs and therapy and war. It's no longer enough to watch your own team play 162 games a season - now you can watch pretend teams play as well! You've spent your life telling strangers in bars what you would do if you were in charge of your beloved team. Now, you have the chance to put your money where your mouth is while neatly sidestepping online gambling restrictions! We're not like those fantasy football pussies who only need to update their team once a week. Fantasy baseball is a daily, no-excuses commitment. It's a guy thing. Most fantasy players need to spend at least four hours of their working day reviewing strategy, setting rosters, making trades and trash-talking their buddies in the chat rooms. As soon as the baseball season begins, the US economy takes a nosedive. You need to decide now what is more important to you - a sex life and career or making the fantasy playoffs? This is a male bonding marathon. Fantasy baseball allows you to draft imaginary rosters of real players and compete with other losers, based on the players' statistics throughout the season. Form teams - pitch, catch, slide in for home, sweat, shower - all the fun of baseball is here. Like the female breast, fake is often better than the real thing. We will send you lineup analysis, trade alerts, real-time scores, injury updates, drug test results, names of divorce lawyers and so much more. Sports and stats have collided to blur the line between jocks and geeks forever. Statistics are really exciting! Seriously. Doesn't a spreadsheet make you just want to pee yourself? Pore over batting averages, stolen bases, wins, saves, runs batted in, WHIP, home runs, blood alcohol level, strikeouts, cup size, penis size, trophy wife rankings... you'll need a level of knowledge equivalent to a PhD if you have any hope of winning a fantasy league. True love of the game begins with a spreadsheet! It's what sports are all about. Just ask the Greeks. They invented sports and because they didn't have spreadsheets, they suck at them. Soon it won't matter who wins or loses so long as your fantasy players make their numbers. Before you know it, you will find yourself cheering on your childhood team but secretly rooting for the opposition's starting pitcher because he is on your fantasy team. Start your own league today at Fantasy League Bat Swingers. Imagine your favorite athletes celebrating with you in the showers after a great game. We'll make sure that you never enjoy a real game of baseball again! Giving wealthy middle-aged men the chance to put on the Swingers uniform, drink lots of beer and play against washed-up 300lb has-beens from their childhood! Just $8,000! No wives or girlfriends allowed. "9 inches, 7 houses, 28 cars... I've always been about the stats and I'm all in favor of anything that encourages my fans to watch me more closely. I love the fact that grown men now fantasize about me just as much as the young girls. It's a turn-on..." We are taking one of the world's most exciting spectator sports to a whole new level with the Fantasy Spelling Bee. Take on your buddies with a roster of home-schooled brats and track their performance in competitions across the country. What other sport allows you to legitimately follow around 10-year-old children? It doesn't get any better than this!