Wow! What a party! It went on for days... we were wasted by the end, let me tell you! My dad was 450 pounds when he keeled over in Burger Shot and at times it was like trying to roast a chicken with a birthday candle. It was kinda ironic he loved fast food so much but took so long to cook himself. We sat him in a chair on top of the pyre with the TV remote in one hand and a 69 Brand in the other. My aunt was joking that they could see him from space! We had to shovel his ashes into a dump truck! He asked for them to be scattered on his ex-wife's carpet. Thanks for all your help, Home Cremation. Mary-Jane, Flint County
		We use Home Cremation on a weekly basis, daily if there is a lot of shit going down. Put it this way, luck is not something that our associates have in abundance. Damn bottom feeders! I like to spit vodka on the fire and watch them burn. Home Cremation helps us to dispose of our business quickly and cheaply. Most importantly they do not ask questions. I don't like questions. Questions and dental records keep me awake at night. We like the HC teeth retrieval service very much. Name withheld, Firefly Island, Liberty City
		It was the worst night of my life when Estelle fell off that bridge. Such a waste of a life and she still had all the ecstasy in her pocket. Fucked up. It hit me real hard, man. I almost gave up the rock for life. Home Cremation helped us set up a huge bonfire at the back of the trailer park. We drank, we sang, we had sex with strangers. Just as she would have wanted it. At midnight, I flicked a joint into the middle of the pyre and Estelle went up like Joan of Arc. Everyone cheered when her breast implants exploded! Can't wait to see the video! I'm going to scatter her ashes in the local strip club. At least that way I'll know her husband will go to see her every week. Cheena, Little Havana, Vice City