Evidently, conventional diets don't work. In Mauritania, they force-feed children to prepare for the mating season, which results in a life-threatening obesity epidemic; in the USA, we have a life-threatening obesity epidemic and a population that hates its own genitals. That's the benefit of cable news. We are taught that diet and exercise are the keys to a healthy physique - it's hogwash. Vinewood and the media sell you lies. Lies paid for by the exercise industry.

Throw in the fact that the camera adds 10lbs and we have a major problem on our chubby hands. The truth is that clever marketing is never going to convince the American consumer that a bowl of okra and brown rice tastes as good as a Heart Stopper. Willpower is simply not enough: you need PILLPOWER! Our ancestors worked hard to give us our sedentary lifestyle so why should we give it up just because some money-grabbing fitness company wants to sell more treadmills or granola bars? Can you imagine attaining the perfect body with NO DIET and NO EXERCISE, and without snorting rails?? Losing weight while stuffing your face with a Pizza Stack? Shedding pounds without ever having to move further than the sofa to the refrigerator? Now you can. With LIPURGEX.

Lipurgex is a ground-breaking new dietary supplement clinically-proven by a real clinic to suppress appetite, increase metabolism, burn fat and block absorption; fat is turned into fragrant gas that harmlessly leaves the body and can be combusted via flame for fun. It's a delicious all-natural cocktail stacked with 'feel good' ingredients like caffeine, laxatives, diuretics, painkillers and a revolutionary wonder drug called On Fei Taa Ming. Lipurgex is changing the way that the world looks at weight loss. Would you let yourself die from an infected cut? Do you apply leeches when you have a sore throat? Less than 100 years ago, diseases like measles, rubella, TB and polio used to kill people but medicine found an answer. 100 years ago 80 year old men couldn't get it up to bang 20 year old girls. Now they can. And now science has finally found a cure for gluttony in the form of Lipurgex.

Don't try to swim against the tide of medical progress! You will probably get out of breath.

The efficiency and potency of Lipurgex's key active ingredients are backed by a number of major high-school studies and licensed chiropractors are calling this the 'most amazing weight loss discovery ever'. It has long been known that extreme weight loss is the path to true happiness. Have you ever seen a depressed skinny person? When you flip through the pages of a fashion magazine, do you see anyone weeping into a bowl of cake batter? Overweight adults earn less money and have a slower rate of career advancement. Plus NOBODY WANTS TO SCREW YOU WHEN YOU'RE FAT EXCEPT OTHER FAT PEOPLE. And that's disgusting. It's a fact: everyone at Lipurgex is slim and we make billions of dollars every year!

Take control of your life with Lipurgex.
Shed the pounds, pile on the self-esteem.
Results guaranteed!

Are you tired of working out and never seeing any results?

Fed up with being shunned and ridiculed by the opposite sex? Nothing is quicker or more effective than Lipurgex or a gun. Why wait to lose weight? We live in the age of instant gratification and we need to embrace it. In a couple of months, skinny jeans might be out again! Liposuction is expensive, health food tastes like compost and exercise is boring.

Sit back, put your feet up and watch the weight melt away. Liquidate those love handles, blast that beer belly, purge that puppy fat... get the back door... OVERNIGHT! You don't have to live with the shame any longer. The solution to obtaining your dream body is finally here! I mean, fuck, how many times are we going to have to repeat this? We've been going on for ages about it. You are fat. Buy this or you are a loser.

Fuck man, pay attention. Lipurgex means that there is never an excuse for being overweight again. Our pills will change more than your life; they will change YOU! Irrevocably! You! Are you paying attention?

Just say:
"YES! I BELIEVE IN THE MIRACLE OF MODERN SCIENCE!"

LIPURGEX- It will take your breadth away