Hey kids! You know when you send your friends a text message to say that you'll meet them at the mall? Well, that's how Lipurgex works. It sends a message to your brain to tell your body that it isn't hungry and women are evil. How cool is that?! Just think - you can spend all your lunch money on cigarettes! And, if you don't like Lipurgex, you can always sell the pills to the technoheads at recess.

You're never too young to start obsessing over your body image. Overweight people do not get prom dates or let into nightclubs. Lipurgex Little will make you popular. Just sit down in front of a video game console and watch the weight drop off!

Lipurgex offers an exclusive pre-teen payment plan: Pop now, Pay later! We will send you a bill when you're 18. Don't worry - you'll get a much better job as a slim person.

Discreet packaging: we make it look like a college information pack.