|  | | Case Study | | Read a call center phone transcript. | |  | | | | Business across continents | | A conversation with the CEO of Fruit |
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| | Outsource For America helped Doug Hatchet, CEO of FRUIT Computers, to offshore 2,500 US employees at the beginning of the year. Doug, now the only person left at FRUIT's six-story corporate headquarters said, "I would like to thank OFA for such a smooth transition. As I sit in the empty cafeteria each day, I smile as I think of all the 401Ks and HMOs that I have put through the shredder. My take-home is octupling by the week and I plan to retire within a couple of months. I still see some of my old computer systems analysts at the Burger Shot drive-thru but I don't go there as often now; the milkshakes have gotten a bit salty." | | | | | Mr. Hatchet has already established a close relationship with his overseas team. Below is a transcript from a recent phone conversation: | | Amir: A very good morning to you, Sir. Welcome to WOLFS INTERNATIONAL REALTY. You are connected to Mr. George Washington, how can I facilitate the purchase of your dream home?
Doug: Hi George. It's Doug over at FRUIT Computers. Why did you take so long to answer the phone?
Amir: I'm apologizing for the delay, Doug. I had to finish off a triple-heart bypass.
Doug: Is that an English accent?
Amir: Yes.
Doug: It's pretty good.
Amir: Thanks. Have you tried re-booting?
Doug: What are you talking about, George?
Amir: Sorry, I'm a little tired, Doug. It's 4am over here and I've been working for three days straight.
Doug: Can you order me some lunch, George? And please get it right this time. When I ordered a slice of Margarita and a shake last week, an Arab gentleman arrived at the door with a tequila cocktail.
Amir: Do not concern yourself. I am very close to completing my cultural acclimatization course. Just the 'disintegration of the family unit' module to go.
Doug: George? George, are you still there?
Amir: Good afternoon. Chiropractor Overnight - the power to paralyze in 24 hours! You're speaking to George Washington...
Doug: What happened, George? Did you hang up on me?!
Amir: Sincere apologies, Mr. Doug. Tuna taco and my eyes are on fire. Shit, the lights went out. Our national power grid is a little erratic.
Doug: Whatever Habid.
Amir: It's George.
Doug: Everything's falling apart over here, George. I've run out of all supplies... I haven't even got a stapler.
Amir: Regrettably, George cannot assist in that matter. I must inform you that all administrative functions have been outsourced to our service partner in Africa.
Doug: Are you kidding me, George? What about all the stuff that I ordered last week?
Amir: I am just editing a sitcom. Can I help you with anything else today? I have 36 people on hold, some from companies who pay us much more than FRUIT.
Doug: To be honest, George, I am losing my mind over here. Can we not just talk for a while? Tell me more about hot foreign women.
Amir: Certainly, Sir. I am trained in building empathy with the customer. Did you see the game last night? They really slam-dunked a home run! And wow, women really hate going down on me. Yes, do I sound American?
Doug: Yeah, I guess. You ever get so lonely you talk to poor people? I'm doing that now. Sometimes I feel so lonely. This building is like a ghost town and I've become a social pariah in the local community. Everyone is boycotting my products. Are you happy, George?
Doug: George?
Amir: That question is not covered on any of my scripts. Have you considered a package deal? We have some excellent offers on rental cars?
Doug: This is hopeless. Why are you trying to sell me a vacation?
Amir: Hello Doug. Please remove the sim card from the back of the cell phone.
Doug: This is ridiculous, George. You're supposed to be my outsourced personal assistant.
Amir: Today I am also your accountant, personal trainer and HR director.
Doug: It's simply not good enough. I'm sitting over here with nothing but the photocopier for company and even that doesn't work!
Amir: I currently support 27 companies at Outsource For America so you are actually receiving far better customer service than you realize. Can I help you with anything else today?
Doug: That's all for now, George. Can I call you tonight?
Amir: I'm leaving in 10 minutes to pick up my new SUV.
Doug: OK. Forget it. Bye George.
Amir: Peace out.
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